I find I am lost again, everything is in a mess and I just don’t know what to do. Something I tought was so important turns out so frustrating, something I thought was so simple now seems a NP problem.

I’ve suffered from insomnia for days. I lain in bed and was thinking over these shits for hours.

I was turned down many times these years, each time it was a real blow and I don’t know how I went though. This time, all seems goes fine, but I’m unassured what would happen. Where the hell my courage comes from this time ? I don’t know, all I know is that it is there and seize it or never shall I. I’ve lost to many chances, I just cann’t miss it this time.The whole thing is like a bottle of milk.At first it is as pure as a virgin, then, as time goes by, it changes by mixing things like money, house, departure, etc , and at last it goes bad.It is changing now. If I missed the best time , I got to save it until too late.

However, there are too much to think about. I am a little scared. Maybe that is why I cann’t fall in asleep. Here I want to make it clear that I am not a smart guy. I am a little dummy indeed, at least in EQ. Well, all in all , I hope everything will get better, the futher, the feeling and the family.

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